Quote of the Day

“I know things that you don’t, I’ve done things that you won’t, theres nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home” – SixxAM

Anger

Angry men are blind and foolish, for reason at such a time takes flight and, in her absence, wrath plunders all the riches of the intellect, while the judgment remains the prisoner of its own pride. – Pietro Aretino

Ponderisms

Someone passed this along to me and I thought I would share.

Ponderisms

Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. But it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

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Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Nutn

Nothing is really going on, or has been going on. The Heros Season finale is done. I have to say I was pleased with how it all ended. The next season should be cool.

Nothing else really to say… Cya

Changing

Nothing Interesting to Post

Nothing really interesting to post right now. Just at work without music because my bluetooth died and I have to let it charge, and it won’t charge while playing music or connected to my computer for some dumbass reason.

Wedding is coming up soon… Ohhhh Ahhhh, Ehhhh. We still gotta get lots of stuff done. We have to pick up some more shorts for me, get our marriage license, change my banking stuff, get out some money, pack everything, clean more of the house (go Jess I love you, and hope you clean clean clean…) Tomorrow is wednesday which means its wednesday. YAY

Gotta go..

The End is Near

The End Is Near

18days and Counting… DUN DUN DUN

ehhhh

I havn’t posted in awhile so I thought I was post something just to prove I’m still alive. So here it is.
I’m Still Alive….

NARF

at least mine is honest

unlink good old nickshadows… HAHAHAHAHAHA he says he has never seen porn….. His hand is practically in a claw like shape… LOL

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	✓ I don’t watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	× I’ve tried marijuana.
✓ I’ve watched porn movies. (it was a funny plot.. made no sense)	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes. (um, more like all the time)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone’s bones. (hahah nick read it and weep)	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain. (GO RAIN GO)
× I’m paranoid at times.	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (um who wouldn/t? Or is this one of those do you feel good about yourself questions.)	✓ I need/want money right now. (I just can’t get enough of it)
× I love sushi.	× I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	✓ I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. (must know when to ignore it or not.)
✓ I like the way that I look. (behold my awesomeness…)	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
× I have a lot of mood swings.	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.	✓ I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	× I have a lot of friends.
× I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
× I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I’m obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone. (smart phone actually. It can do more than you ever hoped you could )	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I’ve rejected someone before. (thats what divorce is all about.)
✓ I currently like/love someone. (if I dind’t check this Jess would kill me.)	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	✓ I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	× I’ve called the cops on a friend before. (no, but I have wanted to…. many times… just for the fun of it.)	✓ I’m not allergic to anything. (read it and weep bastards)
✓ I have a lot to learn. (you can never learn too little.)	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I’m online 24/7, even as an away message.
✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved. (when it comes to how awesome I am…. I ‘m better than wheat toast…… thats gone moldy…. now thats pretty awesome.)	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (go alcohol )	× I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the “South Park” movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	× I enjoy some country music.
× I would die for my best friends. (what do you mean by die??)	× I’m obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend’s ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I’m obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	× Republican.
× I don’t even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.	× I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	× I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	✓ I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted. (I wish sometimes I was :’()
✓ I am a pyro. (ohhh look at him burn…. opppss I mean it burn….)	× I have thrown up from crying too much.	× I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	× I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can’t whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse.	✓ I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep.
× I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	✓ I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	× I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I’m not ashamed at all.	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. (only 1??? maybe more…. LOL…. beware…. j/k)	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	× I’m an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren’t for having to see other people naked, I’d live in a nudist colony.	✓ I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	× I did this meme even though I wasn’t tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
✓ I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
✓ I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
× Nobody has ever said I’m normal.	× Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	✓ I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons. (ohhhh what do they mean by proficient… I didn’t shoot anyone… the gun did.)
× I like the way women look in stylized men’s suits.	× I don’t like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me. (ehhh fuck them.)	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can’t stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I’m a judgmental asshole.	× I’m a HUGE drama-queen.
✓ I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I’m good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	✓ I can speak more than one language. (does weirdo count?)	× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
× I would rather read than watch TV.	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. (more than a month… Some of those projects can be done overnight but people are so much dam underacheives they don’t believe it can be.)
✓ I have no piercings.	✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. (good old airport that one time…. it was hard to sleep in those chairs.)	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	× There have been times when I have wondered “Why was I born?” and may/may not have cried over it.	× I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	✓ I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. (ohhh I bet your wondering what it is…. dun dun dun…. no its not mental.)	✓ I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. (they love the jiggleness)
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won’t sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	× Sometimes I’d rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	× I’ve pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	✓ I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document. (I ROCK!!!!!)	× I’ve liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	✓ Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not ‘get’ most comedy acts.	✓ I don’t think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (depends on how many people they sleep with…)	× I don’t like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can’t wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
× I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	× I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother’s basement when I grow up.	✓ I have a custom-built computer. (at leats had one… fuckers…)	× I want to create a certain someone’s babies, even though there’s a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	× I’ve gone skinny-dipping.	✓ I’ve performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	× I’m Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	× Most of the times, I’d rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically ‘fun’.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else. (only until it is about 90% there, and than I quit)
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. (dear god yes.)	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	× I wish I could be prouder of what I’ve accomplished, but it’s never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
× I download songs from the internet.	× I’ve just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	✓ I say random things to freak people out. (so much fun)
× I’m still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	✓ I love playing Truth or Dare. (bring it on baby)	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	× Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	× I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I’ve ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

APWS — WTF

Your probably wondering to yourself what the hell is APWS? If your wondering what WTF stands for…. Its called acronymfinder.com dumbass.

APWS — Annoying Phrases Women Say.

I am about to list the APWS that I have come into contact with in my life. Please keep in mind that this may have only applied to one woman or even many of them that i may or may not have meant. I’m just a jack ass that needed a good blog title generalized to all of the public and women in the world so I can be hated……

APWS Phrases:
1. I can cut your Hair
2. My money is my money, and your money is my money
3. Put the Toliet Seat Down
4. Hell Hath No Furry Like A Womens Scorn

My responses
1. Um when did you last attend beatuy school? Just freaking because you can shave someones hair, or use a razor does not mean you can cut hair. Watching the dam style channel does not give you the right either. When I see a degree or certificate than maybe. Until then… go take your razor and shave some other guys balls off.

2. Now what type of moron to have to be to think that just because you sit on your ass all day or turn tricks at the corner gives you the right to my money. Unless the trick you are turning is for me (which no offense, i don’t pay for it) you have no right to my money bitch.
***NOTE: The only time this doesn’t apply is marriage. After you get married you have already sold your soul and cut your own balls off to be displayed on a shelf and taunt you the rest of your life…. so who the fuck cares about money…

3. Ok if I put it down and pee you get pissed, if I put it up and pee you get pissed. Make up your freaking mind already. I don’t make you put the seat up when you pee… not to mention WTF is keeping you from putting the dam seat down. Are your arms and legs broken? If they are why the fuck are you trying to use a toliet anyways.

4. Ehhh, whatever… isn’t that what marriage is for? LOL